Zach Wilson

Born on an estate near the edgy and hip town of Yakima, Washington, Zachary Owen Wilson has been making his way through life with the usual flair of someone from the exotic locale of his birth.

With his twin brother, Andrew, at his side their childhood consisted of working on the estate--engaging in such enviable pursuits as picking apples, picking pears, picking peaches, pruning trees, burying stray animals that city dwellers left to die in the country, picking up the sticks from the pruned trees, helping their dad work on only 1 of 2 Peugeots in town, as well as attending the well known institution of learning known as Robertson Elementary School. Remembered fondly by all his teachers, Mrs. Duntley, Zach's first grade teacher tells us that "I vaguely remember a boy with that name who used to cry when he couldn't do his addition sheet in the allotted time." A more charmed childhood could scarce be imagined.

From such auspicious beginnings Zachary rose to even greater heights at the elite Franklin Middle School. Represented by that most pacific of mascots, the Franklin Quaker, Zach bravely did battle on the field of play, receiving broad recognition by followers of the 8th grade B Basketball Team by his heretofore unheralded ability to keep the bench at the optimal temperature. On the track Zachary, to great cheers of approbation by the celebrity-strewn crowd, won the citywide hurdles competition by barely outrunning the strapping [name deleted because I'm getting to have too many friends and someone will question my historical accuracy. Killjoys].

Entering Eisenhower High School, Zach began another triumphant stage of life. While at "Ike" he specialized in being painfully shy of the opposite sex and raising questions about his sexual orientation by playing the classical violin and shaving his legs because he participated in the ubercool sport of bicycle racing. He also mastered the art of writing overlong sentences. 

Additionally, throughout his growing up Zach had a deeply spiritual journey of growth which belies the tongue-in-cheekiness of this biography. That story will have to be left to biographers who are interested in that sort of thing.

At Augustana College in Rock Island, Illinois Zach forsook organic chemistry for less lucrative fare when he changed his major from Pre-Med to majors in Philosophy and Classics. When he graduated from college Zach married well known stone-cold-fox Jennifer Rome and they moved to New Jersey together. Given his interest in God and learning Zach obtained an M.Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary because it seemed like a good idea and they paid him attend. He and his wife enjoyed their time in New Jersey and the lifelong friends they made there.

After grad school Jen was assigned by the Lutheran Bishops to the Saint Paul Synod of Minnesota and they have lived in Saint Paul ever since. They have two amazing daughters.

In addition to working with writers to increase their audience and influence Zach most recently served as the Transitional Associate Pastor at the House of Hope Presbyterian Church of Saint Paul, Minnesota. He currently serves as the Transitional Pastor for Andrew Riverside Presbyterian Church in Minneapolis. The amazing journey of his life to this point led him through the even more elite locales of outstate Illinois and central New Jersey. Most of the story of that time, like that of so many Presbyterian Ministers, is classified due to its sensitive nature and  importance to U.S. national security. If you would like to know more please file a Freedom of Information Act petition with NSA. Or, if you have the guts, you can contact Zach yourself.

Some day, there may be more to tell. But for now, consider yourself lucky to have learned this much.